This post has taken me 14 months to write. I am finally writing it though, because this topic is close to my heart. Yes, I’m a recovering perfectionist (although I do prefer the term "master procrastinator"). Many of my clients smile knowingly when I recognise their perfectionist tendencies - it takes one to know one, right? Indeed, these habits can often be successful enablers, leading to high levels of achievement, increased self-esteem, effective coping skills, and improved physical health.
However, being a perfectionist can also be detrimental when it starts to inhibit performance, cause stress or burnout, and impact negatively on general feelings of self-worth and adequacy. If this is sounds like you or someone you know, please read on!
Broadly speaking, there are three types of perfectionists:
1. Self-oriented - Setting yourself unrealistic and exacting personal standards, strictly evaluating your performance, and consistently failing to meet your own standards
2. Other-oriented - Setting unrealistic and exacting standards for others, strictly evaluating their performance, and evaluating others harshly when they fail to achieve them
3. Socially prescribed - Thinking that others expect unrelenting standards from you, and adhering to them for fear of criticism if you fail to meet others high expectations
You may be one, or a combination of the above (or none, if so – I commend you and am mildly jealous).
If perfectionism is starting to hamper your performance at work or in life more broadly, and you’d like to change, these strategies may help:
a. Apply the “80% is enough” rule of thumb
Unless you’re performing a task in which any errors will have devastating consequences (think brain surgery, or flying a plane), doing 80% of the job is usually good enough.
b. Perform a cost/benefit analysis
Consider the pros and cons of being a perfectionist. How does it help you? How does it hinder you? What are the advantages of changing your perfectionism? What are the advantages of not changing it? What are the disadvantages of changing your perfectionism? What are the disadvantages of not changing it?
c. Embrace a growth mindset
View each task and any associated failures as opportunities to practice and learn (versus attaching success to a perfect outcome). This is my personal favourite, and isn’t nearly as scary as it sounds! (see this summarised graphic for more information)
d. Run a personal experiment
Identify your worst case scenario if you don’t achieve perfection on a certain task. What could the negative consequences be? Then design an experiment to test your assumptions. Purposefully complete less than 100% of the task. Observe what happens. Did your worst fears eventuate? Or did you prove yourself wrong?
Stay tuned for future posts about this topic. In the meantime - what have you tried to reduce your perfectionistic tendencies? What would you recommend to others?