I’ve been using an acceptance and commitment therapy technique lately called “urge surfing”. I love everything about this concept and it has been fun introducing it to clients. Urge surfing, closely linked to emotion surfing, is a mindfulness practice that helps you bring attention to your emotions and the actions you’re taking that move you towards or away from the life you want to live.
In essence, a thought or feeling leads to an impulse to do something (i.e. an urge). By creating space to firstly notice we’re having an urge, and secondly decide whether or not to take action, we can consciously act more in line with our values, and move towards our overall goals.
A recent example of this was with a client named Anna* who came to see me to explore a career change. She was feeling burned out, no longer passionate about her job, and wanted to explore alternative career paths. As we moved through our coaching sessions together, all seemed to be going well - Anna started to regain her energy and self-confidence, and we identified some new fulfilling and inspiring job possibilities. We’d agreed on some follow up actions for her to complete and she seemed enthusiastic and committed. At our next session, however, she appeared very flat – she hadn’t completed her follow up tasks and was questioning whether she could actually make any of this work.
As I gently dug into this with her, Anna was afraid of letting go of her current identity (wrapped up in her current job and occupation), the years of study to get where she was, her good and stable salary; and was worried about her financial commitments (mortgage, family to support), and the potential time it would take to re-train towards a new career. It seemed almost insurmountable and she consequently felt very stuck.
By breaking down these thoughts and feelings further, we identified the impulses Anna was having, which were leading her to procrastinate, and ultimately take her away from her career goals and the new life she wanted to lead.
(By the way, this is a common reaction – there are many reactions to change, and it’s normal to worry about the often huge opportunity cost of changing careers. Note: As you’re reading this, notice any thoughts or feelings you’re having, and what your mind is telling you to do or not do as a result!)
By experimenting with some urge surfing techniques together (hint: they involved mints, dribbling and lots of laughing), including regular home practice, Anna has been able to catch herself worrying, create space to decide how to act next, and to make more values-based choices that are moving her towards a new career.
So what does this all have to do with chocolate? Well as per my previous post, I’ve had long love affair with chocolate (my latest addiction being 70% Lindt chocolate… oh so good…!). I love trying these techniques on myself as well, so I’ve been applying the urge surfing concept to my chocolate habits. After a week of regular practice, I’ve definitely re-wired some of my neural pathways** and reduced my chocolate consumption (although perhaps swapping this for cheese and nuts doesn’t count?!).
To learn more about this technique, grab your hands on a copy of The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris – he talks about this in Chapter 15 :)
*Not her real name
**Re-wiring the brain (AKA neural plasticity) is fascinating - I’ll share more soon in a future post :)
